Our perceptions of people are often based upon what we know about their accomplishments. Social media has made it especially easy to bear witness to others’ success. Beyond FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) this can easily lead to a new term I am coining – LOFT – Lack Of Full Tally. By this I mean that we typically don’t get to see the complete picture and those we may envy and/or put on a pedestal actually have a deeper story. People are so much more than what they have achieved. The journey to these triumphs is usually littered with disappointments and frustrations. We don’t readily share these with other people as it is so much easier, not to mention more pleasant, to discuss what is going well or what is “right in our world”.
In a recent post my friend Jeff Palkowski* shared that his career has involved numerous activities and transitions. As I reflected on Jeff’s insights and my own rumination of my professional journey thus far (and frankly my personal journey as well), I was reminded of the childhood game Chutes and Ladders. I remember rolling the dice with anticipation and hope of landing on a ladder while dreading the possibility of landing on a chute. My life reflects this analogy as it has had its ups and downs, but it wouldn’t be my story without these experiences.
I’ve encountered chutes. I’ve felt like I’m sliding, being forced down, am losing ground. Whether it be job offers not received, awards not obtained, a denial of promotion, work going off track or life plans going awry. Experiences of misogyny and racism have also sent me down some perilous drops. These circumstances are similar to going through an actual slide. There is a sensation of loss of control, quick spirals and a sense of trepidation as the world quickly falls. But just as with a physical slide, the bottom is eventually reached, feet are again firmly planted on the ground and decisions must be made regarding next steps. My slides have always been made easier because of the caring and supportive people who are there to meet me when I arrive at the end of the chute. Yes, I’ve slid but the end has not been as daunting because of the community who has eased my metaphorical landing.
I’ve also encountered ladders. Jobs acquired, accolades received, writing published, work proposals accepted and goals achieved. These too are similar to going up an actual ladder. A surge of adrenaline and sense of anticipation are experienced as progress is made and as the destination is in sight. And when progressing up the steps, one needs to have planned ahead to know what the next moves are after reaching the last rung. Where does this destination actually take you and what are appropriate, subsequent paths? These have been exciting and rewarding experiences. Again, caring and supportive people have cheered me on throughout my climbs and helped me up various ladders. Any form of success has only been truly joyful because of the wonderful people who have shared it, and celebrated it, with me.
We talk about work-life balance but we need to acknowledge that the journey through life, in of itself, entails balancing a variety of experiences. So, let’s share both our chutes and ladders and encourage others to do the same. Let’s be vulnerable and brave enough to do so while supporting others through both their slides and climbs. In doing so a balanced life will be experienced, ultimately leading to true meaning and purpose. In essence, a complete life that can be fully embraced and appreciated.
*Check out Jeff’s blog post: https://hrsushibar.wordpress.com/2021/03/23/still-a-little-left-in-the-tank/